Faith Enough

(This was posted back in July 29, 2010 on Facebook notes.)

Confused enough to know direction
The sun eclipsed enough to shine
Be still enough to finally tremble
And see enough to know I'm blind
And see enough to know I'm blind

     I’ve always found the lyrics in Jars of Clay’s songs to be terribly profound. It’s one of the marks of a good band in my mind. So I suppose it’s of little wonder that they’re one of my favorites. Today I was listening to this song, “Faith Enough”. The line “And see enough to know I’m blind” really struck a chord. My personal lacks have always been an issue for me. Especially my lack of faith but other flaws seem a constant reminder of just how low I truly am. I’ve learned to be grateful for those reminders. They keep me humble…a quality that too few of us hold in esteem.

   It’s a profound thing to come to the realization that you “see” enough to know that you are blind. Because in that moment you realize just how little you know, how much farther you need to go, and how insufficient you are to get there. All that might sound pretty depressing to the average person, but to those of us who realize that it’s not about us and we have a loving God to depend upon, it’s actually a great relief.

     The line: “Confused enough to know direction” really resounds with me too. Of late I’ve been plagued with a real mental block. I can’t seem to comprehend the simplest of statements. I’ll read something on the internet or hear something on TV that comes at me in plain, everyday English – nothing complex about it – and it makes about as much sense to me as college algebra or a foreign language. My mind just can’t wrap around it and it (pardon the cliché) goes in one ear and out the other.

    “ It’s just enough to be strong in the broken places.” Sometimes I wish that I could be strong enough to overcome the broken places. They hurt too much. But that chorus really put it in perspective for me. You can’t be strong in the broken places. If a bone’s broken there’s no longer the strength of solidity to hold it in place. It needs support. But once you are placed under the circumstances where you are broken, the truth of that need for support is never more obvious. Eventually, simpletons that we are, we understand that we needed the support even before we became broken. Funny that there’s no higher level of education than the school of Hard Knocks.

     Well, I know that I lack considerably in a great many things. But I can say with certainty that I am grateful for those weaknesses when all is said and done.  Grateful that I’m:

Confused enough to know direction

Home enough to know I’m lost

Still enough to tremble

And a cynic enough to believe